The Alcohol Free Social Life!

I am very happy to report that so far 143 people have taken the Alcohol Survey. It has been really eye-opening to understand the real life problems people are experiencing. All over the world some of the major issues crop up again and again.

The first thing which surprised me was the age profile of people with issues. In the media we are so used to reading about teenage or college student binge drinkers. But in the survey, 38% of people were between 45-54 years of age. The next biggest group was 35-44 years of age. A quarter were in the younger 25-34 and then the 55-64 age categories.

Let’s get onto the main issues concerned.

The first question was an open-ended question:

What is your main problem/concern with alcohol? 

The top 3 responses with over 20% of people responding were:

1. Can’t Stop Drinking When You Have Started or have had one drink

2. Feel The Need To Drink or you are drinking too much

3. Worries and concerns about your physical health

There were also many comments about worrying about what happened when you were drunk and the guilt and remorse felt the next day. Many people also just wanted to cut down and stop alienating their families.

What Are Your Reasons For Drinking?

Surprisingly by far the biggest response was Boredom. I had a multiple choice question and over 50% of people across age groups mentioned this as their number one issue.

 Here are the main issues with the number of people who mentioned them:

1. Boredom - 65 people mentioned this out of 143

2. Low Self-Esteem 52

3. Relationship Issues 45

4. Work and Economy: 40

5. Family Issues: 24

Others

6. Stress Relief

7. Because Alcohol is Fun

8. Habit

People who had suffered from abuse also had an issue here. Grief was also an issue for some of the older participants in the study.

Please could you let me know your thoughts about everything above. Does this make sense to you? Do you have the same issues or are there other things which make you turn to drink?

Please leave a comment so other people can learn from your experiences and we can start a discussion around this. If any of these areas touch you - e.g. boredom and relationship issues please post a little about what your specific situation is here so others can learn from you

Thanks,

Rahul

P.S. If you want to still take part in the Alcohol Survey, please click here:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=JadJvps7S_2f_2bqN6kl8U30iA_3d_3d

Please could you take a quick 2-3 minute survey about your problems with alcohol.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=JadJvps7S_2f_2bqN6kl8U30iA_3d_3d

If you put in your e-mail address in the box at the bottom, I will send you a free 1-page effects of alcohol on your body and mind info page. It will summarise the key impacts alcohol will have on you in the short and long-term

All the information collected is anonymous (the e-mail is simply there to send you the report).

My aim is to get a better understanding of what peoples’ problems with alcohol are and what the causes could be

If you still enjoy drinking but want to cut out the alcohol for a while, you can try alcohol free beers. There are also alcohol free wines but I will outline my experiences with alcohol free beers here.

In the early ’90s everyone thought there would be a revolution with alcohol free beers. Marketers had probably assumed there was a huge health trend plus the need for the designated driver to enjoy beer without the alcohol.

The only problem was the drinks themselves did not taste very nice. That has put peopel off from trying the recent revival.

Things are changing so much that a month or two ago in Earl’s Court, London - the Australian part of London - I went to a traditional pub which offered not one but two brands of alcohol free beers! If a pub can offer this then revolution is on its way.

Anyway, here are some of the brands I have tried. Oh yes - by alcohol free, the beer has to be less than 0.05% content.

My Favourite Beer:

Cobra Alcohol Free 0.0%

 The taste of this beer is absolutely amazing. It is really sweet and delicious. Even if you don’t even want to give up alcohol, I would recommend this for the taste

Beck’s Alcohol Free 0.05%

This is quite nice. More bitter than the Cobra but has a nice kick to it

Kaliber Beer

This is also quite nice and comes in cans from the supermarkets whereas the other ones are in bottles. I can’t remember the last time I had this though because I have tended to stick to the other ones in particular Cobra

 Try visiting this website (I have no affiliation with them)

www.alcoholfree.co.uk

Strangely enough one of the reason why people drink heavily is simply due to boredom.

It may not really seem like a valid reason or even that it could be a strong enough reason for you to be drinking heavily. Surely people only drink heavily because they are depressed, stressed or have had some horrific life events causing them to turn to the bottle?

 Well, the causes are often not that exotic. They can be as straightforward as you having gotten into a regular routine or pattern in which drink is your excitement and provides your release from the hum-drum of everyday life.

Part of this is just because it has become comfortable to live this way and you can get some security and satisfaction from having a routine in which you know what you will be doing, when and with whom. You might even start to forget about the other options available to you.

This is certainly one factor for me when I started drinking heavily. I was working two or three days per week and had a lot of free time. However most of my friends were not around when I was free plus I didn’t have a lot of money. So, I could not wait for those evenings when I would meet my friends for a meal and then go drinking.

That was my entertainment for the week and what I really looked forward to. So, only by realising this and then making changes could I really start to overcome the boredom issue.

So, do you think this is also an issue for you? If so, what can you start to do differently? It could be as simple as changing the venue you go to for leisure, or changing up your routine and trying new hobbies or activities.

One thing someone once advised me to do was for a week, try different routes to go to work. So if you always drive try taking public transport, car pooling or taking a different route. Something different which will shake up your routine.

When you do something new, your brain has to get off auto-pilot and start paying attention which becomes much more interesting for you.

You can brainstorm, look on the internet for different things to try or just ask your friends for their suggestions as to what to do differently.

Also visit www.alcoholfreesociallife.com for the Give Up Alcohol course which will explain more powerful ways of introducing variety into your life, so you are not so dependent on alcohol.

As we get older, we still like to think we are fun and are not like the other people who are becoming more boring. We are mature yes but we want to believe we have retained that sense of freedom and adventure.

There is such a lot of pressure to be this way, a lot of it very subtle and unsaid. This comes from advertising for all kinds of products which are selling you not just on the product but the lifestyle image. It also comes from contact with people whether your children, younger colleagues etc.

Whatever the cause, the result is that you are trying to chase an ideal, an image or an identity which is not founded in reality, may not be what you even want and you can probably never even achieve.

I remember an episode of the US sitcom Frasier. The woman who works with Frasier in the radio station was in her 30s and single. She was a real wild child and dated a lot. Then her niece or cousin who was in her early 20’s came to stay with her and did an internship in the radio station.

This younger girl wanted to party every night and then go back into work, try new clubs and just get out there. So the older woman went with her and felt pressurised into going but she wasn’t enjoying it. She really beat herself up about this saying why didn’t she want to do this. Until one day she came to the realisation that she wanted more from life than just going drinking or going clubbing every night.

At that moment she had a moment of real self-acceptance and the younger girl stopped putting pressure on her aunt and using guilt to try and get her to come along.

This is a moment you need to reach to feel relaxed and comfortable with yourself. What I am not saying here is that you should give up clubbing or drinking because you are over 30 etc. But when you go clubbing you go where you want and when you want rather than with others who have their own agenda. Often a lot of people do not even enjoy clubbing and drinking heavily, they do it because they need to, in order to distract them from the pain in their lives or because their friends are doing it or they think this is what they are supposed to do.

Also I cannot resist saying try new places which are open during the day. I have found clubs in London which are open during the daytime on Sundays and crazy stuff happens in them as much as the main  night time clubs plus it is easier to get home and to work the next day.

Back to the central point - it is your self-image and your fear of who you are or what you might have become which is leading you to desperately be someone you are not. And to keep up with people you think are more shiny.

However, what everyone wants above everything else is to meet people woith integrity who will stick to what they want to do despite others trying to convince them otherwise and more importantly will listen to that person without judgement and criticism.

So try and be like this and you will fine you will have less pressure to need to go and drink to prove yourself to be fun and worthy.

What Actually is Alcohol?

Here is some background to what alcohol actually is. 

Alcohol is a drink containing ethyl alcohol, or ethanol. Ethanol is a by-product of the fermentation process (when yeast and sugar are mixed together and react). Ethanol dissolves easily in water, so it can be rapidly absorbed from the digestive tract and circulate throughout the body in the blood.

Ethanol acts as a depressant on the body. This means that  it slows down the brain’s activities and the activity of the spinal cord. Many people assume alcohol is actually a stimulant because of the feeling it gives you but this is actually just the short term feeling.    

Ethanol does contain calories but does not have any minerals, vitamins, carbohydrates, fats or protein associated with it.The body actually assesses ethanol to be a poison, and therefore has many mechanisms to try to deal with it and render it harmless

According to a recent UK Department of Health study, there are several reasons as to why people drink to excess on a regular basis.

They have identified nine main groups or reasons why people drink heavily. Heavy drinking is defined as 35 units per week for women and 50 units per week for men. This is twice the recommended limit.

Although this is obviously just a general guide, where do you think you fit into this? It may be you fit across categories or even have other reasons outside of the nine presented below. However, it is a useful guide to start looking at the causes for your heavy drinking.

A lot of people use alcohol as a way of unwinding. In fact, many people use this as their primary resource or strategy of relaxation after a hard day’s work or even when at home.

In fact, a former colleague once looked at me incredulously when I told him I no longer drinked. He straight out asked me, “How do you relax without alcohol?” He also asked me how I had fun if not with alcohol.

So, he has made the mistake as do many people of relying on just one way or one tool to achieve something. So for example if you want to get fit and healthy, how many ways are there of doing this? Think  of a few - yoga, jogging, weight training, aerobics classes, martial arts, roller blading, soccer, gymanstics, free running (French parkour), hockey etc.

There are many options and you probably need a combination of these. However, let us say you only relied on one way of getting fit e.g. jogging. If it is was your only way of doing this, what if you got injured and needed to try other forms, if you get bored of it, it becomes too cold etc. (I know there will be people who will say they love jogging and have done it everyday for 10 years but I think you get the point)

The point is that you need flexibility and other strategies, preferably healthier strategies. Because drinking is often more stressful if you are drinking in noisy environments which itself causes stress, with people getting you to drink up etc. And also, the toxins and stress on your liver, body and mind etc.

So, the best option if you have a lot of stress in your life and best deal with it asap. Someone I know has serious dental problems because they apparently tense their jaw a lot because of stress.

So what could you do instead of drinking? The classic ones are often the best: meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises, going for walks in the park, spending time in silence, Autogenic Training, massages, self-hypnosis etc.

Investigate ways of helping you to relax. And one of the best ways is to get hold of the Give Up Alcohol course from www.alcoholfreesociallife.com which will teach you many simple and effective ways of dealing with the stress causing you to drink. Get it now.

What actually happens to you on a physical level when you take your first sip of alcohol?

This post will explain what happens to you and your body step by step and the effects alcohol is having on you.

When you take a drink of alcohol, the alcohol is absorbed by the stomach, enters the bloodstream, and goes to all the tissues. The effects of alcohol depend on a variety of factors, including your size, weight, age, and sex, as well as the amount of food and alcohol you have already had before drinking this particular drink. 

Let’s begin with how alcohol is absorbed in the body. The first effect of drinking is felt of course in the mouth. Some alcohols can cause a ‘burning’ taste on the back of your throat. This burn is caused by the pain receptors in your taste buds. Essentially, the body is warning you against consuming alcohol because it sees it as a toxic substance.  

Next, the stomach wall absorbs 20% of the alcohol as it enters the blood stream. Depending on the time of day and when you last ate, the alcohol may be readily absorbed or slowly absorbed. If your stomach is empty, the alcohol is quickly absorbed.

Essentially only a few minutes after you have started drinking, there will be alcohol all across your body. The remaining 80% of the alcohol is absorbed in the small intestine. 

We all have an enzyme in our stomaches designed to process ethanol into a safer substance. The enzyme in use is called alcohol dehydrogenase. Alcohol dehydrogenase in men is 70-80% more effective than the same enzyme in women.

There are also age differences - young women and men over 50 years of age have the most difficulty coping with alcohol.  But note that heavy drinkers and people with alcohol problems have severely reduced levels of this important enzyme.

The longer the stomach has to work on the ethanol, the less harm it can do to your body. When a meal is eaten the exit valve of the stomach closes in order to digest the food.  When food and alcohol are consumed at the same time this prevents the alcohol from passing quickly into the small intestine from where it would be rapidly absorbed giving the enzyme more time to work.

The bigger you are the more blood you have in your bloodstream.  Added to this, the average adult male is made up of 66% fluid, compared to 55% for women. 

 So if a man and woman of the same weight drink the same amount in one occasion, the woman will end up with a blood-alcohol level a third higher than the man’s. It will take a third longer for the woman’s body to eliminate the alcohol from the blood. 

The alcohol that passes through the stomach is absorbed by the small intestine. The small intestine allows 80% of the alcohol to be absorbed more quickly than from the stomach. Once in the blood stream, the alcohol spreads throughout the body.  

Finally, alcohol enters the nerve cells and begins to have an effect on the brain. Alcohol circulates in the bloodstream until it is processed by to the liver. The body cannot store alcohol so has to deal with it. Problems occur when there is too much alcohol in the system and the liver is being overworked. 

One of the most difficult challenges for anyone who wants to stop drinking or at least stop drinking to excess is how to deal with the social pressure from friends, colleagues and family to drink.

 Often this pressure can be very intense, using things like guilt and questioning either your masculinity or even whether you are a fun person or part of the group etc.

This can be difficult to deal with because you may feel you will be dealing with social exclusion, or you may be rejected personally and especially to do with your career.

 So, how do you deal with this? There are a couple of options you can use: avoidance and facing the problem up front.

Avoidance simply means working out either the specific situations or the specific people putting you under pressure to drink and simply avoiding them. So, if you drink 3 to 4 times per week but it is only on Friday nights with your buddies you have known since high school with whom you drink to excess - you simply make other plans or meet them in a non-alcohol situation at a different time. So, instead of Friday nights in the bar you meet them for a lunch on Sunday afternoon etc.

Alternatively you ask yourself if this is what you want with your life and avoid meeting them altogether.

The benefits are you will no longer be putting yourself in the situation to drink to excess but you may be missing out on friends as well. I kind of had this situation where I was in a heavy drinking culture and one or two guys put me under intense pressure to drink. Or at least I felt that they put me under this pressure.

When I was made redundant I was removed from this environment and no longer felt any such pressures.

Now, how can you deal with social drinking pressure without quitting your job or losing your friends?

The second more powerful route but ultimately more scary one is to set your own boundaries as to what you will and will not drink - and then accept the consequences. Pay the price for your decision.

 So, if you say you want to only drink 2 glasses of wine in an evening. You are at a works drink and you feel the pressure to drink more to keep up with your colleagues and that you might lose your job if you don’t, then stick to your 2 glasses and accept whatever happens to you.

It is highly unlikely you will get fired for only drinking 2 glasses of wine and do you really want to work for a company where you have to drink in order to keep your job?

A lot of this is your fear of rejection and projecting negative scenarios and fears onto your future. You will find you can survive sticking to your limits, being rejected if that is what happens and likewise. You tell the people this is what you are going to do.

Of course people will test you because they will have only seen you one way. If you do stick to what you say you will do, they will respect you for this. If they get uncomfortable with you sticking to your limits, then that is their problem. If they accept it, and treat you just as well if not better than before, you are with some good people.

Whatever, you have just taken the first step in deciding what you want and being able and willing to take full responsibility for your actions.

And that is not a bad thing as we enter the new year of 2009.

To make real changes with your relationship with alcohol, please visit www.alcoholfreesociallife.com

We have a free report for you on the negative effects of alcohol on your body and mind