The Alcohol Free Social Life!

This is a question people ask a lot - how do they know they are a ‘problem drinker’ versus a full-blown alcoholic and what is the difference?The truth is the meanings or definitions of both is subjective.

There are people who identify themselves as alcoholics or addicts and they scoff at the idea that they or a course can help them change.Other people identify their heavy alcohol drinking as being a temporary issue in their life and decide to resolve it. I will turn to scientific research to discuss this with you. I am going to refer to an article from the Los Angeles Times newspaper from November 16th 2009 entitled ‘You Can Cut Back’.

The article quotes research from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.The institute is the USA’s leading authority on alcoholism and the major provider of funds for alcohol research. This organisation has conducted the ground-breaking National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions, the largest and most comprehensive look at alcohol use in America.

The project surveyed 43,000 people 18 and older in 2001 and 2002, and again in 2004 and 2005, with the results released in increments beginning in 2006. From the article, only 1% of those surveyed fit the stereotypical image of someone with severe, recurring alcohol addiction who has hit the skids.The data suggest that there are two forms of alcohol disorders: one that fits the traditional view of alcoholism, in which the need for a drink takes over a person’s life, and a time-limited form in which people drink heavily for a period but then cut down and recover.

Perhaps the most remarkable finding of the epidemiologic study was how many Americans experienced an alcohol-use disorder (either abuse or the more severe dependence) at some point — and how many recovered on their own. About 30% of Americans had experienced a disorder, the research showed, but about 70% of those quit drinking or cut back to safe consumption patterns without treatment after four years or less.

The article then goes into more details to talk about the genetic and environmental factors which can influence a person’s propensity for alcohol problems. However, the point is that a lot of the solution is about you learning and developing both awareness and skills around drinking - rather than labelling yourself as an alcoholic or something that you cannot change.

So, the first step in any problem drinking or alcoholic or addiction issue is always to see your medical practitioner to determine what is safe in terms of cutting down cold turkey or gradually. You then have skills to learn - and taking responsibility is the key. As I discovered this week, someone thought that he needed to understand the difference between being an alcoholic and a problem drinker.

In his specific instance, that was not the real issue. The real issue was that he really wanted to stop drinking forever because he had had enough of the years of abuse alcohol had given to him and he couldn’t recover as quickly. However because he worked in a music and entertainment environment where other people were drinking he felt like he ’should’ try to control his drinking and be a moderate drinker.

Deep down I knew he really wanted to stop drinking but he was being torn apart from feeling as if he would be letting his friends and colleagues down, not bonding, being seen to be boring etc.In his mind, he saw it as a question of being either an alcoholic or problem drinker. He was secretly hoping I think, that he could find evidence he was an alcoholic and then use this as a way to justify not drinking.

The simple thing was he had the power to make a decision to decide whether to continue drinking or stop forever. Once he made the decision he could then face any consequences.Obviously that is one specific example. In your situation, there are likely to be similar underlying factors at play and it is key to discover what these are. Once you have seen your medical practitioner, and taken their advice and follow-up, you must then work out what you want with drinking and then work on the strategy.

If your situation is very serious, your medical practitioner will take action and refer you to the relevant specialists. In most other situations, I believe you can play a critical part yourself in working on your alcohol issues - as the evidence from the major study quoted above suggests. So, whatever the prognosis and whatever label you have - you need to work out what you can control and can work on yourself and what you cannot control and may need help from your medical practitioner and specialists.

Read the full Los Angeles Times article here: http://articles.latimes.com/2009/nov/16/health/he-alcohol16

I received an e-mail this week from someone who has been a heavy binge-drinker for many years. He is a musician and is surrounded by social drinkers. He feels it very hard not to drink as when his band plays, they are inevitably in social arenas.He has been struggling with his wish to give up alcohol forever v thinking he should moderate.

He has had times where he has not drank anything in a long time, only to then relapse. He does not believe he can moderate so wants to give up forever. However, the pull of his social circle keeps him from giving himself a definitive answer.You might find yourself in a similar situation as to whether to become a moderate more careful drinker or to give up alcohol forever.

You might be looking at some of the obstacles to your choices rather than making a decision, a firm decision, and then working out how to achieve this.So, in the above example, if the musician decided he wanted to become a tee-totaller and was happy with this decision, he could then develop his own strategies or solutions on how to achieve this.

How to deal with the inevitable peer pressure, the feelings of guilt that he should be drinking, worries about him being boring or unable to handle being around drinkers etc.He needs to have made a decision first and then tackle these problems rather than trying to tackle these problems before making a decision.

Whatever decision you take, you will be tested so it is best to as firm as you can in your goal and decision so you can meet and pass all the tests that will be thrown at you.

I came across this very interesting publication from the National Health Service (NHS) in the UK about alcohol and how many units of alcohol you might be drinking:

http://www.tinyurl.com/ydu49ws

It is a booklet which helps you to work out how many units of alcohol you are drinking, goes into some of the effects of excessive drinking and then gives some great advice on how to moderate your drinking. Here are their Top 10 tips for balancing your drinking.

Drinking and you:

10 ways to find the balance

1 Decide how many units you want to drink in an evening – and stick with it.

2 Reduce your units by choosing drinks that are not so strong.

3 Avoid ‘top-ups’ so you can keep track of your units.

4 Drink water before you go out. Then drink either water or a soft drink between each alcoholic drink.

5 Eat before you go out and while you are drinking.

6 If you think you may be drinking a bit much, set aside specific days in the week when you do not drink.

7 If you spend all your money on drink, take out less cash. Leave the credit cards at home.

8 Before you go out, think about how you are going to get home. If you are in a group, designate a nondrinking driver. Otherwise take a licensed taxi.

9 Don’t drink in rounds as you’ll tend to drink more.

10 Try not to go out too often with friends who drink heavily.

So this is a great resource for finding out clearly how many units you are drinking, what are the recommended safe limits and then what you can do about reducing your excessive drinking.

Here is a survey from The Times of London newspaper from October 2008. They asked some experts from The Royal College of Psychiatrists to create a quick survey you can ask yourself to find out whether indeed you are drinking too much.

Please note this survey is not to constitute medical advice and see your medical practitioner if you have any major concerns with alcohol as a result of this survey or otherwise.

1. Do you ever worry that you drink too much?

2. Have friends or family expressed concern about you about your drinking habits?

3. Do you find you can drink a lot without becoming drunk?

4. Do you need to drink more to have the same effect?

5. Have you tried to stop drinking, but found that you were unable to for more than a few days?

6. Do you carry on drinking even though it is interfering with your work, family or relationships?

7. Do you need a drink to start the day?

8. Do you get shaky, sweaty or anxious a few hours after your last drink?

9. Have you experienced blanks in your memory, where you can’t remember what happened for a period of hours or days?

10. Is your judgement affected by alcohol, so that you do things that you normally wouldn’t, such as starting fights or arguments, having unprotected sex with strangers or becoming violent.

If you answer yes to more than three of these questions, it is indicator of alcohol misuse. 

The full article can be found here:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4846982.ece 

This is the key question. When you reach for the bottle or order a beer, are you doing this because you just want to and could live without it or you need it in order to fill the void or make yourself feel better?

 If you genuinely are enjoying yourself with your friends or at home with a meal then there is no problem.

 However, if you are drinking because you need to it is a separate matter. I have been reading an amazing book on curing back pain. It basically says there is a condition called TMS - which is to do with your brain using pain in your body to divert attention from repressed emotions such as anger, anxiety, fear etc. 

If you realise this and deal with the emotions or at least realise they are causing the pain, lifelong pains will disappear over a relatively short period of time.  

 The same idea goes behind your urge for drink. Before you put that glass or bottle to your mouth, ask yourself why you feel the urge to drink - if you are drinking too much that is. Is it to lose yourself, to fit in with others, to make yourself feel better?

The more awareness you have here, the more you can start to make changes. When you get to that place where you can be just as happy with or without having that drink, then you are ready to reach for it. If that makes sense!

 I sometimes get e-mails and questions about how to help other people with alcohol problems.

The simple answer is that I do not know. I have designed this website, blog and the alcohol course for you to work on yourself. Only if you are ready and committed to change, will you actually do this. 

It takes awareness of your current situation and lifestyle, a decision to make changes and then the resolve to follow through.

However, if someone else does not know that they have a problem or refuses to see the evidence then it is very hard to force them to seek help. Obviously you can tactfully point out the evidence, staying away from emotions or accusations and try and get them to see the results of their behaviour.

Ultimately it is upto them and you have to accept what is in your control and what is not. One problem is that people often blame themselves for other peoples’ behaviour especially if the problem drinker is a spouse or child. However, ultimately it is that person doing the detrimental behaviour not you, so you losing your self-esteem through guilt etc will not help the situation.

So, this is not great news if you are in this situation but the best you can do is be there for the other person if and when they are ready and willing to seek your help and support.

According to a recent UK Department of Health study, there are several reasons as to why people drink to excess on a regular basis.

They have identified nine main groups or reasons why people drink heavily. Heavy drinking is defined as 35 units per week for women and 50 units per week for men. This is twice the recommended limit.

Although this is obviously just a general guide, where do you think you fit into this? It may be you fit across categories or even have other reasons outside of the nine presented below. However, it is a useful guide to start looking at the causes for your heavy drinking.