Where are you having problems? What is wrong with you to do this etc. The problem with this approach is that it comes from a position of powerlessness, desperation and hopelessness – which will ultimately lead you back to drink.

But what if – you turned this around and focused on what are your strengths as a person and how can you use these strengths to help you control your drinking? This would put you in a position of excitement, hope and possibility- which is more likely to lead you to success.

So, what is a strength? Obviously we all have particular areas of expertise, some people are great at math, others at creative writing or cooking or design etc. That is not the kind of strength I am talking about. I am rather focusing on the qualities you have as a person.  Some of these are difficult to describe so I will turn to some experts for this.

The Gallup Organisation is a professional polling and surveying company – you may have heard of a Gallup poll.

They collected thousands and thousands of data points and did a lot of analysis to work out what were the common characteristics ‘or strengths’ across people – no matter  their age, culture or gender. From all this research, they identified 34 strengths or themes – such as analytical, discipline, input, learner, maximiser etc. http://tinyurl.com/38xnmq4

You need to buy the book and then use the code in the book to take the online multiplication test which will reveal to you, your Top 5 strengths. This is a unique combination which you can use to your advantage by structuring your day to build on your strengths and to use them to help you with your alcohol drinking.

Let me give you an example. One of my Top 5 strengths is competition. It is important for me to measure my progress against others and to win first place. One time I can remember this coming into play was over 10 years in a personal development seminar.

I remember hearing one woman telling another that the section on healthy eating was so-so and don’t worry about listening to it – she had been to the course before. Immediately this led my competitive instincts coming up – and I was determined to put everything there I learnt into practice – which led to me cutting out meat and eating more healthily.

The point is that situation was unique to me but if you can find out what your strengths are and then in the book, they give you some tips on how to apply this to your daily life, you can work out how you can use these tips to cut down your drinking.

You may have been using ineffective approaches to cut down your drinking whereas just changing your approach slightly to play to your strengths could have a major impact on you controlling your drinking once and for all.

You can actually plan this out in advance before you go out.Some major bar and restaurant chains actually have their menus on the websites so you can look at this before you go if you are worried about drinking options.

The key things are to choose drinks which you enjoy drinking and fit the mood or context of your situation and where you are. So, if you are going to be in one place for a long time and can choose the place maybe it is worth going somewhere where there are many options.If you will be bar-hopping then you can mix the options you choose.

So the options are:

Typical soft drinks: Coke, Pepsi, lemonades and other ‘fizzy drinks’

A couple of things to consider are:

Avoiding excess sugar.

This is a major issue if you choose Coke or orange juices and then knock back two or three during your evening out.

Avoiding excess caffeine.

In some bars and clubs you can actually have teas and coffees in place of alcohol. Whether you have this or Coke - again excess sugar is something to look out for. Having a lot of Red Bull can also be similar to the excess stimulation from caffeine.

Alcohol Free Beers and Wines

Alcohol free beer which I have spoken about before in this blog. There are more and more options depending upon where you live. You can also order cases of these beers over the internet or hopefully purchase from your local supermarket.

Just about every major beer maker has alcohol free versions from Becks Blue to San Miguel 0.0%. You can ask the bar tender about this and whether they will introduce it in the future.

Don’t worry about feeling like a fool - here in London at least, alcohol free beers have become very common and as I have said before, some bars even offer a choice of at least two alcohol free beers!

Another option is de-alcoholised mulled wine which is a great choice during winter and Christmas times.  The same goes for other wines although the options are less likely to be as widespread for now.

‘Virgin’ Cocktails

If you look at the drinks menu of many upscale bars and clubs, they will have a section on alcohol free cocktails, so-called ‘virgin’ cocktails.

You can also ask for your previous favourite alcoholic cocktail just without the cocktail.I went to one amazing bar in London and the barman spent about two or three minutes making an amazing tasting non-alcoholic cocktail.

I was sure that he had misheard me and it must have been an alcoholic cocktail but it wasn’t.

Water

This is the one which many people overlook. You can of course order sparkling or still mineral water in a bottle and pay for it.

However, there is no shame in ordering the odd glass of tap water - especially if you are feeling thirsty. In fact in London, one of the local newspapers once had a campaign to encourage people to order tap water rather than bottled water because of the environmental waste of having the bottled water.

Everyone needs 2 litres of water per day I think, so why not got at least some of your intake when you are in a bar! You will get used to peoples’ comments by saying it is inbetween your other drinks.

Mixers

You can also consider mixing drinks such as ginger beer and cranberry juice and other wonderful combinations.

So no more excuses! Please get out to your local bar - just without the alcohol!
]]> http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=83 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=82 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=82#comments Sun, 22 Aug 2010 09:48:16 +0000 admin http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=82 This is a question people ask a lot - how do they know they are a ‘problem drinker’ versus a full-blown alcoholic and what is the difference?The truth is the meanings or definitions of both is subjective.

There are people who identify themselves as alcoholics or addicts and they scoff at the idea that they or a course can help them change.Other people identify their heavy alcohol drinking as being a temporary issue in their life and decide to resolve it. I will turn to scientific research to discuss this with you. I am going to refer to an article from the Los Angeles Times newspaper from November 16th 2009 entitled ‘You Can Cut Back’.

The article quotes research from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.The institute is the USA’s leading authority on alcoholism and the major provider of funds for alcohol research. This organisation has conducted the ground-breaking National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions, the largest and most comprehensive look at alcohol use in America.

The project surveyed 43,000 people 18 and older in 2001 and 2002, and again in 2004 and 2005, with the results released in increments beginning in 2006. From the article, only 1% of those surveyed fit the stereotypical image of someone with severe, recurring alcohol addiction who has hit the skids.The data suggest that there are two forms of alcohol disorders: one that fits the traditional view of alcoholism, in which the need for a drink takes over a person’s life, and a time-limited form in which people drink heavily for a period but then cut down and recover.

Perhaps the most remarkable finding of the epidemiologic study was how many Americans experienced an alcohol-use disorder (either abuse or the more severe dependence) at some point — and how many recovered on their own. About 30% of Americans had experienced a disorder, the research showed, but about 70% of those quit drinking or cut back to safe consumption patterns without treatment after four years or less.

The article then goes into more details to talk about the genetic and environmental factors which can influence a person’s propensity for alcohol problems. However, the point is that a lot of the solution is about you learning and developing both awareness and skills around drinking - rather than labelling yourself as an alcoholic or something that you cannot change.

So, the first step in any problem drinking or alcoholic or addiction issue is always to see your medical practitioner to determine what is safe in terms of cutting down cold turkey or gradually. You then have skills to learn - and taking responsibility is the key. As I discovered this week, someone thought that he needed to understand the difference between being an alcoholic and a problem drinker.

In his specific instance, that was not the real issue. The real issue was that he really wanted to stop drinking forever because he had had enough of the years of abuse alcohol had given to him and he couldn’t recover as quickly. However because he worked in a music and entertainment environment where other people were drinking he felt like he ’should’ try to control his drinking and be a moderate drinker.

Deep down I knew he really wanted to stop drinking but he was being torn apart from feeling as if he would be letting his friends and colleagues down, not bonding, being seen to be boring etc.In his mind, he saw it as a question of being either an alcoholic or problem drinker. He was secretly hoping I think, that he could find evidence he was an alcoholic and then use this as a way to justify not drinking.

The simple thing was he had the power to make a decision to decide whether to continue drinking or stop forever. Once he made the decision he could then face any consequences.Obviously that is one specific example. In your situation, there are likely to be similar underlying factors at play and it is key to discover what these are. Once you have seen your medical practitioner, and taken their advice and follow-up, you must then work out what you want with drinking and then work on the strategy.

If your situation is very serious, your medical practitioner will take action and refer you to the relevant specialists. In most other situations, I believe you can play a critical part yourself in working on your alcohol issues - as the evidence from the major study quoted above suggests. So, whatever the prognosis and whatever label you have - you need to work out what you can control and can work on yourself and what you cannot control and may need help from your medical practitioner and specialists.

Read the full Los Angeles Times article here: http://articles.latimes.com/2009/nov/16/health/he-alcohol16
]]> http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=82 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=81 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=81#comments Sun, 15 Aug 2010 16:55:08 +0000 admin http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=81 One of the most common issues is that people drink too much alcohol because it is a habit. It is something they have been doing for so long that any other behaviour simply does not occur to them.One of the reasons is because ‘everyone else is doing it’. So if you are in a pub or bar with your friends and you have had a couple of drinks, everyone might decide, let’s have another one.

However that extra drink may be too much for you in terms of your health, weight, staying sober etc.Because all of your friends are agreeing to continue with this, you do also. This is a psychological principle called ’social proof’.

If you are unsure of how to behave in a situation, you look to those around you to make your decision. Similarly everyone else does the same - and as you continually do it, so drinking alcohol becomes a habit.One lady actually e-mailed me to say she had not been drinking for many weeks but suddenly felt an urge to drink when she saw her husband having a drink. Again part of this is habit - she may have been drinking for years together with her husband - so seeing her husband drinking ‘triggered’ her usual habits and so she felt the urge.

However, if she wants to change - and if you do also - you need to change your habits. So investigate when are you drinking - when is it because  you consciously want to and when do you just drink because you always do - e.g. if you go to see a band play do you habitually order a pint - again because everyone else is doing the same.If you can recognise your habits, you can start working on what you are going to do about them.
]]> http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=81 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=80 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=80#comments Sun, 08 Aug 2010 10:28:55 +0000 admin http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=80 I received an e-mail this week from someone who has been a heavy binge-drinker for many years. He is a musician and is surrounded by social drinkers. He feels it very hard not to drink as when his band plays, they are inevitably in social arenas.He has been struggling with his wish to give up alcohol forever v thinking he should moderate.

He has had times where he has not drank anything in a long time, only to then relapse. He does not believe he can moderate so wants to give up forever. However, the pull of his social circle keeps him from giving himself a definitive answer.You might find yourself in a similar situation as to whether to become a moderate more careful drinker or to give up alcohol forever.

You might be looking at some of the obstacles to your choices rather than making a decision, a firm decision, and then working out how to achieve this.So, in the above example, if the musician decided he wanted to become a tee-totaller and was happy with this decision, he could then develop his own strategies or solutions on how to achieve this.

How to deal with the inevitable peer pressure, the feelings of guilt that he should be drinking, worries about him being boring or unable to handle being around drinkers etc.He needs to have made a decision first and then tackle these problems rather than trying to tackle these problems before making a decision.

Whatever decision you take, you will be tested so it is best to as firm as you can in your goal and decision so you can meet and pass all the tests that will be thrown at you.
]]> http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=80 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=79 http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=79#comments Wed, 14 Jul 2010 17:50:16 +0000 admin http://www.alcoholfreesociallife.com/blog/?p=79 Here is a detailed video explaining what alcohol does to your body. It features an interview with Kevin Strang, Faculty Associate in Physiology.

It is a 23 minute video which will show you in some detail about what alcohol is and that it is a drug. People take alcohol for a reason - there are effects we are seeking when we take them.

It is almost like looking inside your body and seeing what is happening when you are drinking alcohol. How does your body work to deal with this?

http://www.wikihow.com/Quit-Drinking-Alcohol

They have 23 Steps on how to quit drinking alcohol. Here are the Top 5:

1. Talk to your doctor. If you chose not to, bear in mind that alcohol withdrawal can potentially be deadly. If you start experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms (panic attacks, severe anxiety pressure you should seek immediate medical assistance. The condition could potentially deteriorate to deadly delerium tremens if left untreated. 

2. Change your attitude about quitting! Remember, you’re not being forced to give up a good friend who has treated you well. Instead, you are finally ridding yourself of an awful enemy who has robbed you of many great pleasures in life.

3. Constantly remind yourself of what a great thing you are doing and hold tightly to your quit. Remember that you are pardoning yourself from a life sentence in the prison of alcoholism and you will always hold the key. 

4. Try to pick some significant date to quit. Be ambitious, but reasonable. If you are very heavy drinker you must first slow down to avoid withdrawal symptoms (in this case it is best to have your doctor help you plan your quitting date).

5. Get rid of all bottles, cans, etc 

For the other steps please visit the web-page to get more information and start changing your relationship with alcohol. 

Alcohol’s anaesthetic effects

Alcohol affects the brain like an anaesthetic. In fact, one of the very first anaesthetics ever used in medicine – ether – is based on alcohol.

As with anaesthetics, the more alcohol take the more of our brain it shuts down. The abilities we acquire last in life, like controlling our behaviour, are the first to be lost. The abilities we acquire first, like being able to breathe, are the last to go.

The stages of intoxication

Stage 1 – A social lubricant?

After one or two drinks (1-3 units), we’re more talkative and our heart rate speeds up a little, giving us an ‘up’ feeling. This is the effect that people refer to when they say alcohol makes them feel more sociable. The ‘warm feeling’, or flushes, is caused by alcohol in the blood making small blood vessels in the skin expand, allowing more blood to flow closer to the surface and lowering blood pressure at the same time.

Stage 2 – Giddy up!

After a couple more drinks (4-6 units) we feel light headed and our co-ordination and reaction times are impaired. Our ability to make decisions is also slowed down. All of these effects are cased by alcohol acting on nerve cells all around the body and making them work more slowly. Driving will be illegal (and dangerous) and operating machinery a bad idea.

Stage 3 – I’m perfickly shober!

Another few drinks (7-9 units) and most people will show definite outward signs of alcohol’s effects. Reaction times are much slower, vision becomes blurry and speech is slurred. Drinking more than eight units at a time seriously overloads the liver. If we take care of ourselves in the days to come, it should repair itself but for tomorrow a hangover is pretty much guaranteed.

Stage 4 – Nobody’s friend . . .

Drinking more than 10 units has most people staggering about the place. Accidents are commonplace – as are fights caused by bumping into people who’re easily upset by such things. This amount of alcohol will be affecting cells all over the body. In an effort to rid itself of the poison, the body tries to pass the alcohol out mixed with water in our urine. This is why alcohol makes us go to the loo a lot and is the cause of the dehydration that gives us morning-after headaches. Alcohol also attacks the gut, causing stomach upsets, heartburn, sickness and diarrhoea.

Stage 5 – Unconscious or dead

Drinking more than 30 units (that’s about twelve pints of strong lager) is enough to knock most people out. From there, it’s a short step to heart failure and breathing slowing to a stop. Even when people are already unconscious, alcohol in the stomach can continue to be absorbed and can reach lethal levels. People can also be sick and suffocate on their vomit.

For these reasons, it’s crucial never to leave very drunk people on their own.

Visit http://tinyurl.com/yfbwezw for more information on what you can do to stop drinking too much alcohol.

There is one answer I have found. There is a website called meetup.com which is a website which has thousands of groups based around all kinds of hobbies and interests from movies to clubbing, theatre visits to art drawing. The choice is endless.

But for us, reading this blog, the most interesting category are the 46 groups spread around the world. They have a combined total of 5,659 members in 36 cities in 4 countries. Plus there are another 2,080 people interested in going to such groups.

Now these are not AA meetings or anything like that with formal discussions about not drinking but more like social events and in some cases even partying - but without the drinking.

You can find the list of groups which are in the US, Canada, the UK and Australia

http://nondrinker.meetup.com/

 There are 431 people in New York City in the Smart Party in NYC Without Alcohol - partying just without the drinking.

Or in Chicago if you are single, Alcohol-free Events for Singles 25-45 and for me in London, there is the The London Teetotalers (At least for 1 night) group with 406 Teetotallers. And the brand newest group comes from San Francisco, California for people in their mid 30s to mid 50s: San Francisco Fun Non-drinkers

There are already 121 people in this group and it only started in February 2010. Membership of most of these groups is free so go ahead if you live in the area join in and search the rest of the site to see if there is a group near you. If not, you can start one! There are people all over the world interested in joining so you can make it happen.

At the very least you will be able to be alcohol free and hopefully have a fun time as well as meet new people.